A little holiday spirit lives forever in everyone. Test your own holiday spirit. Give away all of it you can. You'll see, it comes right back to you.

— Ray Palla

An elementary school student asked me the NOT “politically correct” question, “Is an idiot smarter than a moron?” I had to Google it because I was afraid to respond in today’s PC society and didn’t want to offend him, his parents, or anyone else. Here’s what I found. Technically, a moron is smarter than an idiot. An imbecile is also smarter than an idiot. Although today the words are considered insulting and derogatory, prior to the 1960s they were widely used as actual psychology terms associated with intelligence on an IQ test. An IQ between: 00-25 = Idiot 26-50 = Imbecile 51-70 = Moron Explaining all of this to a nine-year-old with an IQ of 130 made me feel like society has turned all adults into one of the above, myself included. When I told him that I’m afraid to openly say it, the nine-year-old said, “Adults are idiots!

— Ray Palla

Give little people a little power, and it goes straight to their ugly, little heads. -Foot talks about authority

— Ray Palla

…have you always been a jackass or is that something you’ve just recently acquired at the ‘I Want to be a Junior Jackass’ store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant

— Ray Palla

I can stomach just about anything… After all, I can deal with politicians… I don’t have any problem not puking on them! —Debra Wright, KNOT Reporter

— Ray Palla

If you run, you better be faster than my gun. -Weasel to illegal aliens

— Ray Palla

I swear if Washington moved any slower, we could be at war, and it would all be over before they could even lift their sluggish, naked, dead asses off of their comfortable heated-seat toilets. -Fitzhugh to Captain Jester

— Ray Palla

My name is Richard Werner. Dick. You can call me Dick.

— Ray Palla

Seasickness in itself is not contagious, but I’m pretty sure that puking is extremely contagious.

— Ray Palla

Time was unending when charmed, captivated, even delighted by the mystical motion of the ocean!

— Ray Palla