Ah, Macy Jolene O'James, I love you. More than I ever knew it was possible to love someone. I want to laugh with you when you're happy and hold you when you're sad and--hell. I don't even know what all. This is uncharted territory for me, but I know that I Buzz Light-year love you. You know--to infinity and beyond?

— Susan Andersen

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

— Susan Andersen

And if her heart was breaking with every step she took, at least he would never know.

— Susan Andersen

Be good. It'll be a new experience.

— Susan Andersen

Frankly though, bud, your criteria for what constitutes a good date is kinda skewed, if you ask me. Homemade cookies are overrated man -- trust me on this. You can find a decent bakery just about anywhere you go.

— Susan Andersen

Guys are a lot like kitchen floors – lay ‘em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for years.

— Susan Andersen

It was pretty much the male code not to let your friends have too much fun if there was any chance you could throw a wrench in their good times.

— Susan Andersen

I've been a perfect lady my entire life, and somebody just tried to shoot me, anyway. Grandmother was wrong. Goodness is not its own reward.

— Susan Andersen

What is it about men, anyway? You can't live with 'em and the law frowns on neutering them. It's not exactly a win-win situation.

— Susan Andersen

You don't talk much, do you, angel-face? I like that in a woman.

— Susan Andersen