Dinah Katt

And that’s basically the end of this story. I know it sounds unbelievable and all. And I’m not saying I can explain all the time travel parts or the magical tattoo parts. You may not even believe me. That’s okay, though. I know it happened and that’s all that counts.

— Dinah Katt

A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.

— Dinah Katt

Do not go where you don’t belong. I scoffed. That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one.

— Dinah Katt

He didn't mean I couldn't leave, he meant I couldn't leave. If he meant I couldn't even take out the trash and had to stay inside all the time, that would result in a vitamin D deficiency and I would get scurvy and turn pale, wither, and die, and he would go to jail for child abuse. So, I don't think he meant that.

— Dinah Katt

I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.

— Dinah Katt

I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.

— Dinah Katt

I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?

— Dinah Katt

I mean, were you born a freak?” I asked. Furthermore, I flinched at my own words. Furthermore, I didn’t mean to be rude it just came out that way. The girl rolled her eyes to me. “I don’t know. Were you born stupid?” Okay, maybe I deserved that. “Yeah, probably.

— Dinah Katt

I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.

— Dinah Katt

Little known fact: When you get really scared and too many scary things happen at once, you can leave your body. I don’t know if it’s your soul or your consciousness or what, but you can literally float up in the air over your body and watch what it’s doing.

— Dinah Katt