Approaching the forest from the west was no army, but a delegation of Grailsundanian master surgeons on their way to an appendix conference. . . But that isn't the craziest part of the story - oh, no, my boy, for approaching from the east was a party of itinerant watchmakers bound for the pocket-watch fair at Wimbledon. . . But not even that is the craziest part of the story! For approaching from the south were over a hundred armorers and locksmiths on their way to Corinth, where some power-hungry prince had commissioned them to build a monstrous war machine. . . Well, that would be enough crazy coincidences for an averagely crazy story, but the battle of Turn Forest involved the most improbable coincidences in the history of Ammonia. For entering the forest, this time from the north came a delegation of alchemists.

— Walter Moers

Es commit night Darius an we and Geschichte infant. Such night Darius, we she author. Modern AUF was, was dazwischen assert.

— Walter Moers

I could hear it from far away, that sound which only very big cities can produce: a sound consisting of all sounds rolled into one: the hum of voices and the cries of animals, bells ringing and the chink of coins, children's laughter and hammers beating metal, knives and forks clattering and a thousand doors slamming - the grandiose sound of life, of birth and death, itself.

— Walter Moers

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious.

— Walter Moers

In my profession it isn’t a question of telling good literature from bad. Perfect literature is seldom appreciated in its own day. The best authors die poor, the bad ones make money — it’s always been like that. What do I, an agent, get out of a literary genius who won’t be discovered for another hundred years? I’ll be dead myself then. Successful incompetents are what I need.

— Walter Moers

I've never thought much of strictly organized and methodical study. You can't arrange a library in alphabetical order until you've collected one.

— Walter Moers

Life is too precious to be left to chance

— Walter Moers

Nothing is what one thinks it is. Cloth is stone and circus is an art. There are no certainties.

— Walter Moers

On horseback, you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk.

— Walter Moers

Ordinary folk prefer familiar tastes - they'd sooner eat the same things all the time - but a gourmet would sample a fried park bench just to know how it tastes.

— Walter Moers