a) he's late. b) he's acting like an asshole and blowing me off. c)he's gotten into a horrible car crash that's left dead. The most likely answer is A. (We went to prom together, and the limo had to wait in his driveway for half an hour. At the end of the night, we got charged for an extra hour. He- read: his parents-paid for it, but still.)

— Lauren Barnholdt

Because she left him a MySpace message that was semi-flirty, and then today he was very vague about what he was doing. So I headed over to his house and waited outside until he left. And now he’s at McDonald’s, and I’m following him to see where else he’s going.” MySpace is seriously going to be responsible for everyone losing their minds.

— Lauren Barnholdt

Because sometimes when someone is telling you something really important, it’s best to just let there be silence, to really think about what they’re saying. A lot of times people think they have to say something all insightful or wise or something to try and make the person feel better. But really, sometimes silence is best.

— Lauren Barnholdt

But it's that fucking dress she's wearing. It's low-cut and tight and just... Jesus. Why would she wear a dress like that? Is she doing it just to torture me? I like the idea that maybe she had me in mind when she picked it out. Of course, she might be wearing it because she wants to get attention from other guys. I look around the wedding suspiciously, trying to see if anyone is looking at her. I don't want to have to punch someone out, but I'll do it if I have to.

— Lauren Barnholdt

Eliza: The problem with YOU is that you don't take the RESPONSIBILITY for anything You think you can just run around, doing whatever you want to whoever you want, and that it's going to be fine. That everything is just going to be TAKE CARE of for you, with no consequences. Cooper: No. I don't, and I have had consequences of what happened to me and you. Eliza: Yeah? Like what? Cooper: I lost you, that was my consequence.

— Lauren Barnholdt

Emotional attachments are messy. They end with broken hearts and stalking.

— Lauren Barnholdt

If you want to know the truth,” he says, leaning forward like he’s getting ready to tell a perfect story, “it has to do with Kelsey. And the biggest lie of all.” And that’s when I realize the thing about the truth. It always comes out, no matter what you do.

— Lauren Barnholdt

I just have a hard time with small talk. My friend Jocelyn says I'm too quiet. But I'm really not quiet. I just tend to come across that way to new people because I don't like to talk first. What if the other person doesn't want to be bothered?

— Lauren Barnholdt

I mean, scamming on guys on the Internet? I thought that was only for forty-year-old divorcees who Photoshop their pictures in an effort to appear younger and thinner.

— Lauren Barnholdt

It might be a little bit crazy, even. Like, for real crazy. Not just 'oh isn't that charming and endearing' crazy but 'wow that might be a deep-seated psychological issue' crazy.

— Lauren Barnholdt