Doug Larson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

— Doug Larson

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

— Doug Larson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

— Doug Larson

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

— Doug Larson

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

— Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

— Doug Larson

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

— Doug Larson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city it might be better to change the locks.

— Doug Larson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

— Doug Larson

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

— Doug Larson