A goatee is to beards what diamonds are to ornaments.

— Pawan Mishra

Beard is like Nina, that covers cheeks

— Arsalan Khan

By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

— Craig Ferguson

First, if you participate in November, fuck you. Second, if you want to raise money for prostate cancer (a noble cause), do it the old-fashioned way, by either begging for it or exerting yourself physically for donations. Sitting on your ass and letting nature take its course above your upper lip is not the same thing as running a 10K at a local high school or breaking out the set of power tools your dad gave you as a housewarming present collecting dust in your garage and using them to go out and build a habitat for humanity. Maybe I can raise money for rectal cancer by getting people to pledge a dollar every time I take a shit. And third no one wants to see that horrific seventies Porsche growing like a caterpillar with cerebral palsy zigzagging across your face; you look like you're about to go door to door informing people that you're a registered sex offender who's just moved in next door, and would their kids like to come out and was your windowless van for a dollar? Fuck November. And November.

— Ari Gold

Her latest client is Professor Desmond Curtin, a university professor who teaches library sciences to large groups of students. He’s quick to pay on-time, quick to never fall behind. He’s a brown-haired man with an unkempt beard and thick-framed hipster glasses. Furthermore, he slides a leather briefcase stuffed with dollar bills into the open window of Geraldine’s car. “Your fly’s unzipped,” Geraldine points out, disgusted. “Who gave you a license to sell hot dogs, buddy?

— Rebecca McNutt

If lots of men around you are growing a beard just because of political or ideological reasons, you refuse this, and if you have a beard, shave it off! Leave your herd to find yourself! Find your own style, not the style your ideology or your party is dictating on you! Remember, you build a sound character mostly through refusing, through saying no, through staying different!

— Mehmet Murat ildan

I have the most fantastic, stupendous, magnificent idea. Why it’s better than television," he said, standing there in red, tartan pajamas, his beard in a sleepy tangle. Dunn's Magnificent Idea

— E L Parfitt

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Besides, your beard’s stupid.”“Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well.

— Derek Landy

Many a time, you may not even have to speak, however difficult the situation; your goatee speaks for you.

— Pawan Mishra

Shirts and jeans litter the asphalt, the empty fabric limbs askew as if they're attempting to escape. Blood smears Sarah's lips as she struggles against the chest of a dirty looking man with a beard. Terror. Terror is the only word my mind can seize on, and it forgets what it means. I forget how to think - to move.

— Brenna Ehrlich