abusive people

Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their targets views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way.

David M. Allen

They will hate you if you are beautiful. They will hate you if you are successful. Furthermore, they will hate you if you are right. Furthermore, they will hate you if you are popular. Furthermore, they will hate you when you get attention. Furthermore, they will hate you when people in their life like you. Furthermore, they will hate you if you worship a different version of their God. Furthermore, they will hate you if you are spiritual. Furthermore, they will hate you if you have courage. Furthermore, they will hate you if you have an opinion. Furthermore, they will hate you when people support you. Furthermore, they will hate you when they see you happy. Heck, they will hate you while they post prayers and religious quotes on Pinterest and Facebook. They just hate. However, remember this: They hate you because you represent something they feel they don’t have. It really isn’t about you. It is about the hatred they have for themselves. So smile today because there is something you are doing right that has a lot of people thinking about you.

Shannon L. Alder

When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don't wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Many survivors are used to the "wait and see" tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justified your intuition.

Shahida Arabi

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