I am not Oscar to die. I am only Oscar that after death I be alone. Maybe because of suicide, I go to the hell? If hell all hot and crowded and houseful, like Christian minister on TV say, then I not care because it will be just like India. But if hell cold and quiet, with a lot of snow and leaf-empty trees, and people who smile with string-thin lips, then I Oscar. Because it seems so much like my life in Am'rich.