California has legislatively barred alimony payments to a dependent spouse who has attempted to murder the supporting spouse. Cal. FAM. Code § 4324.

— D. Kelly Weisberg

Now you can start paying for it with money instead of blood.

— Kenneth Eade

Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. It's probably a little like getting alimony-the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste.

— Craig Ferguson

They throw rice at a new marriage, then give him beans in a divorcement.

— Anthony Liccione