I laugh, and it’s laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I’ve ever known is coming apart. I know some things—I know that I’m not alone, that I have friends, that I’m in love. Furthermore, I know where I came from. Furthermore, I know that I don’t want to die, and for me, that’s something—more than I could have said a few weeks ago.

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