I just want to hold you close." I gave Timmy a squeeze. He relaxed in my embrace. "I'm wild about you, you know that, right?"" I know." He smiled up at me." You don't have to be wild about me too. Just try to like me a little more than you do now.

— Maria Semple

I know it's a lot. But she can handle it. I'd rather ruin her with the truth than ruin her with lies.

— Maria Semple

I quickly realized that shopping on Amazon had made the idea of parking my car and going into a store feel like an outrageous imposition on my time and good nature.

— Maria Semple

I think because I try to keep things as real as I can, or I try to start from a place of reality, I almost don't have the imagination to write a book that's not set where I am.

— Maria Semple

I was a ghost on a ghost ship in a ghost land

— Maria Semple

Maybe that’s what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

— Maria Semple

My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.

— Maria Semple

My strength as a TV writer was my total lack of interest in television.

— Maria Semple

My summer reading suggestion: Pick a really famous, really long novel.

— Maria Semple

People like you must create. If you don't create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society.

— Maria Semple