It seemed as though he had a fundamental belief that the merit of his argument depended on the strength of his feelings about the matter, and since he always felt uncontrollably passionate about everything, then clearly he was always right. This irrational claptrap, coming as it did from a swarthy, excitable, plump Celtic Demi-dwarf, struck me not just as thoroughly impertinent but also as a noisy and ignorant attempt to undermine the most basic principles of the Enlightenment.

— John Cleese

It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Simpson, Clockwise

— John Cleese

I was always a sports nut, but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.

— John Cleese

I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from.

— John Cleese

Michael Pain decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?

— John Cleese

Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough anymore, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.

— John Cleese

One of our professors described a lecture as 'a mystical process by which the notes on the pad of the lecturer pass on to the pad of the student, without passing through the mind of either'.

— John Cleese

Terry Gilliam has spoken scathingly about my preference for physical comfort. I have come to the conclusion that this is very much his problem.

— John Cleese

The idea that you have to be protected from any kind of uncomfortable emotion is what I absolutely do not subscribe to.

— John Cleese

The problem was that I carried around with me a tendency to feel that other people’s respect for me would vanish if what I did was second rate. And while I accept that this “perfectionism” is likely to stimulate the production of better work, it doesn’t, unfortunately, go hand in hand with a relaxed and happy attitude to life.

— John Cleese