I, the unfortunate Doctor Poyarkov, who became addicted to morphine in February of this year, warn anyone who may suffer the same fate not to attempt to replace morphine with cocaine. Cocaine is a most foul and insidious poison. Yesterday Anna barely managed to revive me with camphor injections, and today I am half dead.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Jesus to Pilate:"The trouble is," the bound man went on, not stopping by anyone, "that you are too closed off and have definitely lost faith in people. You must agree, one can't place all one's affection in a dog. Your life is impoverished, Hegemony.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Man is mortal, and as the professor so rightly said mortality can come so suddenly

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Margarita was never short of money. She could buy whatever she liked. Her husband had plenty of interesting friends. Margarita never had to cook. Margarita knew nothing of the horrors of living in a shared flat. In short... was she happy? Not for a moment.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Most bad," the host concluded. "If you ask me, something sinister lurks in men who avoid wine, games, the company of lovely women, and dinnertime conversation. Such people are either gravely ill or secretly detest everyone around them.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Nobody should be whipped. Remember that, once and for all. Neither man nor animal can be influenced by anything but suggestion.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

No one's fate is of any interest to you except your own.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Not fooling around, not bothering anybody, just sitting here mending the Prius," said the cat with a hostile frown, "and, moreover, I consider it my duty to warn you that the cat is an ancient, inviolable animal.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Once more and for the last time, the moon flashed above and broke into pieces, and then everything went black.

— Mikhail Bulgakov

Ruin, therefore, is not caused by lavatories, but it's something that starts in people's heads. So when these clowns start shouting "Stop the ruin!" - I laugh!' 'I swear to you, I find it laughable! Every one of them needs to hit himself on the back of the head and then when he has knocked all the hallucinations out of himself and gets on with sweeping out backyards - which is his real job - all this "ruin" will automatically disappear

— Mikhail Bulgakov