I think the therapists around this place think that if you know yourself, then somehow you’ll be better and healthier, and you’ll be able to leave this place and live out your days as a happy and loving human being. Happy. Loving. I hate those words. I’m supposed to like them. Furthermore, I’m supposed to want them. Furthermore, I don’t. Don’t like them, don’t want them. This is the way I see it: if you get to know yourself really well, you might discover that deep down inside you’re just a dirty, disgusting, and selfish piece of shit. What if my heart is all rotted out and corrupted? What about that? What am I supposed to do with that information? Just tell me that. Most of the time I get the feeling that I’m just an animal disguised as an eighteen-year-old guy. At least I’m hoping that maybe deep down inside I’m a coyote.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I think you love him more than you can bear.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I thought masturbating was embarrassing. I didn't even know why. It just was. It was like having sex with yourself. Having sex with yourself was really weird. Autoeroticism.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I thought of what my mom had said. "You talk like a man." It was easier to talk like a man than to be one.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

It started to rain and we just sat. Sat and watched the rain in silence.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I wanted to buy a T-shirt that read: I AM UNKNOWABLE.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I wanted to close my eyes and let the silence swallow me whole.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I wanted to tell her happy was hard for me. But I think she already knew that.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I wanted to tell him not to cry anymore, tell him that what those boys did to that bird didn’t matter. But I knew it did matter. It mattered to Dante. And, anyway, it didn’t do any good to tell him not to cry because he needed to cry. That’s the way he was.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz

I was ashamed of myself for being ashamed of myself. I didn't like feeling like that.

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz