I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a distance--I didn't know whether I actually liked him or he was just suggesting I like him, which was both creepy and unethical. In fact, the whole Remote Suggestion or "seeding" idea had been banned once it was discovered to be the key ingredient in promoting talent less boy bands, which had until then been something of a mystery.

— Jasper Fforde

I'm beginning to think you're the sort of person who does a great deal with very little." He meant a liar.

— Jasper Fforde

I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.

— Jasper Fforde

Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.

— Jasper Fforde

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.

— Jasper Fforde

Inviting a goblin to cross your threshold was a recipe for disaster, and certainly worse than doing the same with a vampire. With the latter all you got was a nasty bite, but the company, the perfect sex and the funny stories more than made up for it—apparently.

— Jasper Fforde

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

— Jasper Fforde

I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you.

— Jasper Fforde

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.

— Jasper Fforde

I was born on a Thursday, hence the name. My brother was born on a Monday, and they called him Anton--go figure. My mother was called Wednesday, but was born on a Sunday--I don't know why--and my father had no name at all--his identity and existence had been scrubbed by the Chronograph after he went rogue. To all intents and purposes he didn't exist at all. It didn't matter. He was always Dad to me...

— Jasper Fforde