I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.

— Roald Dahl

I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.

— Roald Dahl

If you are good life is good.

— Roald Dahl

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.

— Roald Dahl

I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage.

— Roald Dahl

I'm afraid of men are not always quite as clever as they think they are. You will learn that when you get a bit older, my girl.

— Roald Dahl

I'm right, and you're wrong, I'm big, and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.

— Roald Dahl

I'm wondering what to read next." Matilda said. "I've finished all the children's books.

— Roald Dahl

I shall never take a bath again," I said. "Just don't have one too often," my grandmother said. "Once a month is quite enough for a sensible child." It was at times like these that I loved my grandmother more than ever.

— Roald Dahl

It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.

— Roald Dahl