He was willing to pay her to hang around his house and paint Piper's fingernails? It sounded as easy as Britney Spears.

— Erin McCarthy

Honey, nobody ever knows someone completely. You have to just enjoy what you do know and have faith in the rest.

— Erin McCarthy

How does he get that caveman shit to work for him? I would get my balls ripped off and stuffed in my mouth if I pulled what he does.

— Erin McCarthy

I am successful because of my brains and my guts, put together, and I don't need some fancy-ass degree from a bunch of sweater-vest-wearing pricks who haven't gotten laid since Bush Senior was president... Do you know who studies sociology? People who would rather observe life than live it.

— Erin McCarthy

I can't give you the sunset, but I can give you the night.

— Erin McCarthy

If I'm working this hard in the morning, I'd prefer it be because my man has woken me up with an eight-inch nudge.

— Erin McCarthy

I knew that by this time tomorrow, I was going to be eternally grateful for falling down the stairs and knocking myself unconscious. Smartest dumbest thing I'd ever done.

— Erin McCarthy

I mean, it's okay if you're the one with the low sex drive. We'll just have to adjust and learn to accommodate that.

— Erin McCarthy

Literature wasn’t intended to be about perfect people, it was about flaws, very real and very deep human flaws.

— Erin McCarthy

Now your bitches can stand here quaking in your boots about what your women might do to you. I’m going to get my woman.

— Erin McCarthy