A good friend is someone who gets ya drunk and then walks ya home afterward.

— Michael Monroe

A joke is a witticism or play on words that’s meant to be funny. I say ‘meant to be’ because most jokes aren’t funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducing annoying.

— Michael Monroe

A leader’s first duty is to look after his or her people, especially those who are sick, hungry, or thirsty.

— Michael Monroe

As far as I know, there’s nothing more dangerous than a man who doesn’t care if he lives or dies.

— Michael Monroe

Ask very pointed questions. Sharp as sword blades, or laser blasts, if you catch my meaning.

— Michael Monroe

Don’t stay with someone who drives you crazy. Find someone who keeps you sane.

— Michael Monroe

Everyone has the right to believe whatever he or she wants. Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, atheists, and every other religion. People can follow whichever they choose. Even if you and I believe Christianity is the truth, we must allow others to choose their own beliefs. You can’t force anyone to believe something they don’t, anyway.

— Michael Monroe

He could argue a case for anything, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s wrong most of the time.

— Michael Monroe

Humans have been doin’ awful things to each other throughout history. Humanity’s not as great as you make it out to be. I do what needs to be done, and that’s that. We’re about to go to war, Earl. There ain’t no humanity in war.

— Michael Monroe

If the only option you leave poor people with is to resort to violence in order to survive, they’ll do just that. And there are lots more poor people in this world than there are rich ones.

— Michael Monroe