I could’ve knocked the shit out of her. She’d have good reason to roll her eyes then. But knocking the shit out of rude people wasn’t my style. Heckling them every chance I got was. Hopefully she’d screw up soon. I didn’t have all day.

— Darynda Jones

I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.

— Darynda Jones

I essentially killed those men. Am I slated for hell?" He stepped to me. Put his fingers underneath my chin. Raised it until our gazes locked. "You're a god, Dutch. And the reaper. You don't get slated. You are the slate.

— Darynda Jones

If he didn't hate me so much, and he wasn't an evil supernatural being, I'd be on him like black on Cookie's toast. That woman could not make toast.

— Darynda Jones

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

— Darynda Jones

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

— Darynda Jones

If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.

— Darynda Jones

I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking.”“I get it, Slopes. He’s not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom.” I rethought that. “Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?

— Darynda Jones

I learn from everything I do, right and wrong. I think it helps me grow as a writer and a person.

— Darynda Jones

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniel's.

— Darynda Jones