Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

— Laurence J. Peter

Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.

— Laurence J. Peter

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

— Laurence J. Peter

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

— Laurence J. Peter

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

— Laurence J. Peter

Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.

— Laurence J. Peter

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

— Laurence J. Peter

Going to church doesn't make you anymore a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

— Laurence J. Peter

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.

— Laurence J. Peter

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

— Laurence J. Peter