His lies were so exquisite I almost wept.

— Dave Eggers

How had this happened? Everyone in the world knew more than us, about everything, and this I hated then found hugely comforting.

— Dave Eggers

How lame this is, how small, terrible. Or maybe it is beautiful. I can't decide if what I am doing is beautiful and noble and right, or small and disgusting.

— Dave Eggers

I can remember exactly where I sat when my teacher first read Roald Dahl's 'James and the Giant Peach'.

— Dave Eggers

If things continue this way, there will be two societies - or at least I hope there will be two - the one you're helping create, and an alternative to it. You and your ilk will live, willingly, joyfully, under constant surveillance, watching each other always, commenting on each other, voting and liking and disliking each other, smiling and frowning, and otherwise doing nothing much else.

— Dave Eggers

If you don’t have something grand for men like us to be part of, we will take apart all the little things. Neighborhood by neighborhood. Building by building. Family by family.

— Dave Eggers

If you don't want anyone to know about your existence, you might as well kill yourself. You're taking up space, air.

— Dave Eggers

I had forgotten that, and so many things. How could I put everything down on paper? It seemed impossible. No matter what, the majority of life would be left out of this story, this sliver of a version of the life I'd known. But I tried anyway.

— Dave Eggers

I hung up the phone, jubilant, and threw myself into a wall, then pretended to be getting electrocuted. I do this when I'm very happy.

— Dave Eggers

I lost someone very close to me and afterward I believed I could have saved him had I been a better friend to him. But everyone disappears, no matter who loves them.

— Dave Eggers