Ask a woman if she’s ambitious, and she’ll look at you as if you just asked whether she sticks pins in puppies for fun. Ask a woman if she’s competitive, and she’ll look at you as if you suggested that she’s a hooker.

— Gina Barreca

Boys are rewarded for playing games where they line up by height and then run into walls. Perhaps I'm making that up--or perhaps you should do a Google search for "Guy Runs into Wall for Fun." Not only do women hold up half the sky; we do it while carrying a 500-pound purse. From age sixteen to age twenty, a woman's body is a temple. From twenty-one to forty-five, it's an amusement park. From forty-five on, it's a terrarium. Bring your sense of humor with you at all times. Bring your friends with a sense of humor. If their friends have a sense of humor, invite them, too

— Gina Barreca

Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them into a shared experience.

— Gina Barreca

How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.

— Gina Barreca

If anger were mileage, I'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.

— Gina Barreca

If you believe that your best years are behind you, you've guaranteed they are; I'm going to dance into that good night, with the oldies turned up loud.

— Gina Barreca

If you know you can do it - if you can already chart every day in your future - then why bother? Choose to do something you have more trouble imagining. Take a chance.

— Gina Barreca

In short, immaturity is spoiled. And what is spoiled doesn’t ripen. It goes bad early, gets bitter and withers on the vine.

— Gina Barreca

I see taking care of my emotional and mental health in the same way that I see taking care of a garment: After it's been through wear and tear, it needs attention.

— Gina Barreca

It's not that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but it's your best friends who are your diamonds. It's your best friends who are supremely resilient, made under pressure and of astonishing value. They're everlasting; they can cut glass if they need to.

— Gina Barreca