When considering female human beings, we should ask ourselves what kind of organisms become overjoyed when presented with decapitated plants as gifts? I suppose we should consider ourselves fortunate they do not become overjoyed when presented with decapitated animals as gifts.

— Robert Black

When I label something as fiction, people say it’s true, and when I label something as non-fiction, people say it is made up. If something is not 100% true, then I label it as fiction. After all, there is no half of a lie, is there?

— Robert Black

When you are gambling, though you probably do not know it, your mind is on the tide, the ebb and flow of the Universe, and there is no way to fight it. Going with the flow is the only option, so there is no point in struggling against it, but, it will tell you how you sit with God, or the Universe, at that particular time in your life.

— Robert Black

When you are young your body cannot handle alcohol, and when you get old your mind cannot handle it. Either way, alcohol has its way.

— Robert Black

Why do I prefer cats to dogs? I have never stepped in cat shit.

— Robert Black

Women are like a living, breathing casino Like a judge and jury They sense everything They sense what you try to hide They sense your weaknesses They sense your power levels One must be patient One must listenWatchAnd wait Before one strikes

— Robert Black

Women should not be penalized for being women. Equally, men should not be penalized for being men. I fear that in overly politically correct western Christian democracies, the latter is occurring. It should not be forgotten that nature will correct the pendulum, so that is doing not swing too far either way.

— Robert Black

Writers and other artists are mostly just historians, produced by nature to describe, decipher and thus historically represent the universe.

— Robert Black

Writers begin with a grain of sand, and then create a beach.

— Robert Black

Writers should cut as close to the vein as possible. The readers don't want to be covered in your warm sticky blood, but they want to come as close to it as possible.

— Robert Black