A man who was, as we say in the restaurant business, one taco short of a combo platter.

— Joan Bauer

But then Macon smiled at me. "Just be yourself, Foster. That's the best thing in the world.

— Joan Bauer

Ellie: "You could lie to me. You could tell me to be encouraged, that good will triumph over evil." Richard: "Good will triumph over evil." Ellie: "Liar.

— Joan Bauer

Guys don't understand great art. They don't care that sometimes the camera has power beyond the photographer to record emotion that only the heart can see. They're threatened when the camera jumps ahead of me. Todd Novice was pissed when I brought my Nikon to the prom, but I'd missed too many transcendent shots over the years to ever take a chance of missing one again. A prom, I told him, had a boundless supply of photogenic bozos who could be counted on to do something base.

— Joan Bauer

How are things with you, sir?"" Fine." He says it flat." Coffee black. BLT." Now my heart tells me this guy needs more in life, so I take a short. "You ever had a cheeseburger with grilled onions and mushrooms on pumpernickel, sir?" That takes a minute to sink in. Then he slaps the counter, grinning. "Bring it on." I sense he needs more." You want a malt with that, by any chance?" He did, of course. "Chocolate," he says, beaming like a kid. Now he's loosening up. It's a privilege to touch humanity in such a fashion.

— Joan Bauer

Hues up. Swing up to the window, swing back to Al B. Hall, who says, "Bless you,", and would I get him a bottle of Satan's Red-Hot Revenge for the eggs? Sure thing, Pastor.

— Joan Bauer

I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addiction, the funny short subjects, the half-finished romantic comedy, the boxes of slice-of-life photographs that spoke volumes about the human condition. Furthermore, I wondered how you stop caring about what you've ached over, sweated over. (Th wonk)

— Joan Bauer

If she's really psychic," Zack said when he saw Tanisha's photo at school, "why does she need a doorbell?

— Joan Bauer

I'm working hard to have a good life. You don't need fancy things to feel good. You can hug a puppy. Furthermore, you can buy a can of paint and surround yourself with color. Furthermore, you can plant a flower and watch it grow. Furthermore, you can decide to trust people, the right people. Furthermore, you can decide to start over and let other people start over, too.

— Joan Bauer

I nearly tripped over Stieglitz, my dog, a forty-pound black-and-white respond (pronounced came-hawnd) fur ball. He lunged at me with unbridled glee because the mere sight of my presence always made his day. It's important to have a dog. Dogs love unconditionally. (Th wonk)

— Joan Bauer