To make matters even more complicated, research has shown that we remember only 25-50 percent of what we hear. This inclination not only compromises our connection with another person, but we can fail to retain vital information. All this evidence demonstrates that it is imperative that we intentionally pay closer attention and strive to become an in-depth listener.

— Susan C. Young

Unimpressive of the Poor Listener• Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. • Allowing your emotional reactions to take over.• Interrupting the person talking.• Replying before you hear all the facts.• Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.• Being preoccupied with what you're going to say next. • Getting defensive or being over-eager. • One-upmanship—feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share.• Imposing an unsolicited opinion.• Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.

— Susan C. Young

When my son Nick was five years old, he was sitting in the kitchen bar while I prepared dinner. In typical busy mother fashion, I was multitasking—cooking, cleaning, running the laundry, answering the phone, and attempting to listen to what he had to say.

— Susan C. Young

When we spend time with people who live in extreme poverty, and we listen to their stories, it creates dignity and connectedness - something they usually lack.

— Chris Marlow

When you are mindfully focused, the person with whom you are communicating feels that you are making them a priority—that you value their time and their perspective. It is in these moments that we can go to deeper levels of discovery, exploration, and connection. It is one of the most valuable gifts and finest compliments you can give to another.

— Susan C. Young

When you become an actively engaged listener, you will develop the mindful awareness that active listening involves multiple layers and distinct levels.

— Susan C. Young

While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.

— Susan C. Young

You can have the perfect message, but it may fall on deaf ears when the listener is not prepared or open to listening. These listening "planes" were first introduced by the American composer Aaron Copland (1900-1990) as they pertain to music. . . 1. The Sensual Plane: You’re aware of the music, but not engaged enough to have an opinion or judge it.2. The Expressive Plane: You become more engaged by paying attention, finding meaning beyond the music, and noticing how it makes you feel.3. The Musical Plane: You listen to the music with complete presence, noticing the musical elements of melody, harmony, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and form.

— Susan C. Young

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.

— M. Scott Peck

Your heightened awareness of their perceptions, experiences, emotions, and personality styles can reveal why they feel the way they do so that you can choose your responses wisely and compassionately.

— Susan C. Young