The Joy of Work

Creativity doesn't require much time. But creativity always needs your energy.

For humor to work, it must be original."

"Identify someone who has more creative talent than you do, then try to imitate that person exactly.

Thinking is easier than working. And the best kind of thinking is the kind where you don't have to write anything down, i.e., meeting thinking."

When you think up an idea during a meeting, all you have to do is blurt it out. You won't have to involve any parts of your body except your mouth and maybe your brain stem.

Never laugh when you're being sarcastic. It will ruin the effect."

If you feel the uncontrollable need to giggle, wait until your boss says something hilarious, such as, "Is this only Wednesday? It feels like Friday already!" Then you can throw back your head, open your mouth like you're about to swallow a live porpoise, and laugh like a naked teenager in a field full of pussy willows. Sincerity like that will make your sarcasm all the more convincing.

A meeting is essentially a group of people staring at visual aids until the electrochemical activity in their brains ceases, at which point decisions are made.

Trying to win an argument with an irrational person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions.

The hardest part of writing humor is finding a topic that hasn't already been used more times than the only back scratcher at the Institute of Very Itchy People."

"If a topic makes you gag, or clench your buns, or laugh, or sigh, or retch -- or react physically in any way -- you have a winner.

Some humor experts say the secret to humor is to combine something unexpected with something bad and then make sure it's happening to someone else. But if that's all it took, serial killers would be winning comedy competitions.

If you're going to create, create a lot.