Having parked up at the entrance to the football ground I’d like my coffin to be taken from the hearse and carried around the mile and a half perimeter of the pitch in a fitting lap of honor. Then, after the lap of honor, I would like the undertakers to lift me out of my coffin, dress me in the home strip and sit with me in the Evans Hals haw Home Stand for a match against any team in the Essex and Suffolk Border League Division One. (From Undertaker's Question Time, 2016)