The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

— Scott Adams

The key to career advancement is appearing valuable despite all hard evidence to the contrary. … If you add any actual value to your company today, your career is probably not moving in the right direction. Real work is for people at the bottom who plan to stay there.

— Scott Adams

The only risk of failure is promotion.

— Scott Adams

Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.

— Scott Adams

There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.

— Scott Adams

The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you're gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you.

— Scott Adams

Things that will someday work out well start out well. Things that will never work start out bad and stay that way.

— Scott Adams

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

— Scott Adams

What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely grow into successes. I can’t think of an example in my life. It’s generally true that if no one is excited about your art/product/idea in the beginning, they never will be. If the first commercial version of your work excites no one to action, it’s time to move on to something different. Don’t be fooled by the opinions of friends and family. They’re all liars.

— Scott Adams

You can change only what people know, not what they do.

— Scott Adams