Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

— Steve Martin

Comedy may be big business, but it isn't pretty.

— Steve Martin

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

— Steve Martin

Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever heard. About three years late, women got wise an frustration returned to normal levels.

— Steve Martin

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

— Steve Martin

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

— Steve Martin

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

— Steve Martin

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

— Steve Martin

If you saw her in these moments, you might think she was collecting her thoughts in order to go forward. But I see it another way: Her mind is being overwhelmed by two processes that must simultaneously proceed at full steam. One is to deal with and live in the present world. The other is to re-experience and mourn something that happened long ago. It is as though her lightness pulls her toward heaven, but the extra gravity around her keeps her earthbound.

— Steve Martin

If you've got a dollar, and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand, and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.

— Steve Martin