Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.

— Russell Brand

I am naïve, and I have fucked up, but I tell you something else. I believe in change. Furthermore, I don't mind getting my hands dirty because my hands are dirty already. Furthermore, I don't mind giving my life to this because I'm only alive because of the compassion and love of others.

— Russell Brand

I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

— Russell Brand

I didn't cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.

— Russell Brand

I don't know if this is the kind of retrospective analysis that people are fond of applying to their work or actions, but it feels like I knew I was going to be famous, and I knew that an element of that would be traumatic, so that if I could make myself something big and otherworldly, it would be a kind of defense.

— Russell Brand

I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.

— Russell Brand

I hope it is not necessary for me to stress the platonic nature of our relationship- not platonic in the purest sense, there was no philosophical discourse, but we certainly didn't fuck, which is usually what people mean by Platonic; which I bet would really piss Plato off, that for all his thinking and chatting his name has become an adjective for describing sexless trysts.

— Russell Brand

Interestingly, one mate of mine, a proper lefties, in his heyday all Red Wedge and right-on punch-ups, was melancholy. "I thought I'd be overjoyed, but really it's just … another one bites the dust …" This demonstrates, I suppose, that if you opposed Thatcher's ideas it was likely because of their lack of compassion, which is really just a word for love. If love is something you cherish, it is hard to glean much joy from death, even in one's enemies.

— Russell Brand

In the end the British will walk out because 100,000 British cannot control 350 million Indians if those Indians refuse to cooperate.” A small minority cannot control an uncooperative majority, so they must be distracted, divided, tyrannized, or anesthetized into compliance. Gandhi dealt with the colonization of nations by nations; we deal now with the colonization of consciousness by corporations.

— Russell Brand

Invisible violence in Pakistan, violence against brown people, ongoing violence in Iraq — that's got to be quantified in the same way as the cinematic glamorous violence that happens in recognizable cities.

— Russell Brand