I recognize that I have the ability to be selfish, but I also recognize that you can't be happy if you only care about yourself at the expense of other people.

— Russell Brand

I regret that I didn’t realize that actually they’ve got no power over you at school — it’s all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.

— Russell Brand

It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them as sick and powerless. Furthermore, it is difficult to suffer the selfishness of a drug addict who will lie to you and steal from you and forgive them and offer them help. Can there be any other disease that renders its victims so unappealing? Would Great Ormond Street be so attractive a cause if its beds were riddled with obnoxious little criminals that had “brought it on themselves?

— Russell Brand

I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterward.

— Russell Brand

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

— Russell Brand

My modus operandi is that I'll be content with anything, as long as I know that it's the best that's possible.

— Russell Brand

Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.

— Russell Brand

Oh, and 13.1 million American people had their homes foreclosed. Because their debt, it turns out, was real; it was only the debt within the financial sector that was imaginary. It was only the people who generated the crisis who got three magical wishes from an economic genie. There was no abracadabra for ordinary people; they just got Africa-fucked.

— Russell Brand

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in, but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.

— Russell Brand

People don't realize that the future is just now, but later.

— Russell Brand