I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

— Dorothy Parker

I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

— Dorothy Parker

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

— Dorothy Parker

I don't know," she said. "We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married. And now I feel so sort of strange and everything. I feel so sort of alone.

— Dorothy Parker

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

— Dorothy Parker

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

— Dorothy Parker

If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

— Dorothy Parker

If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)

— Dorothy Parker

I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or Alan tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.

— Dorothy Parker

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head think 'How lucky are the dead.

— Dorothy Parker