If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

— Dorothy Parker

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

— Dorothy Parker

I hate writing, I love having written.

— Dorothy Parker

I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, to know the supply of poppy and mandatory will not run out before the small hours.

— Dorothy Parker

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three, I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.

— Dorothy Parker

I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, "How gay 'would beta hang me from a flowering tree.

— Dorothy Parker

In youth, it was a way I had, To do my best to please. And change, with every passing lad To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know And do the things I do, And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you.

— Dorothy Parker

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

— Dorothy Parker

I shall stay the way I am Because I do not give a damn.

— Dorothy Parker

I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again

— Dorothy Parker