I've found my productive-writing-to-screwing-around ratio to be one to seven. So, for every eight-hour day of writing, there is only one good productive hour of work being done. The other seven hours are preparing for writing: pacing around the house, collapsing cardboard boxes for recycling, reading the DVD extras pamphlet from BBC Pride & Prejudice, getting snacks lined up for writing, and You Tubing toddlers who learned the 'Single Ladies' dance. I know. Isn't that horrible? So, basically, writing this piece took me the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

— Mindy Kaling

I would love to be married. But it's not a necessity like the way that I feel I need and want to have children. It would be wonderful to have a husband, and I would feel blessed to do it. But I would feel sad for the rest of my life if I had no kids.

— Mindy Kaling

Just bear a passing resemblance to a fictional romantic trope I like, and I will love you forever. We're all just trying to find the Mark Darcy of our workplace, aren't we?

— Mindy Kaling

Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full-time, and that's it.

— Mindy Kaling

My parents were supportive of my creativity but did not have a lot of patience for whimsy with zero production value. They had stuff to do.

— Mindy Kaling

My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I've ever had in my life.

— Mindy Kaling

No one ever wants to hear about how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't a conversation. It'll never lead anywhere.

— Mindy Kaling

No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.

— Mindy Kaling

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.

— Mindy Kaling

(On differences between men and boys) Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

— Mindy Kaling