Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.

— Carl Hiaasen

Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.

— Carl Hiaasen

I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.

— Carl Hiaasen

I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness.

— Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

— Carl Hiaasen

Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.

— Carl Hiaasen

My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding.

— Carl Hiaasen

My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

— Carl Hiaasen

My humor has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.

— Carl Hiaasen

Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.

— Carl Hiaasen