What is fascinating is that it is physical. You know, that's one thing about intellectuals, they've proved that you can be absolute brilliant and have no idea what's going on. But on the other hand, the body doesn't lie, as we now know. Non, it'll be great, because all of those pH. Ds are in there, like, discussing modes of alienation, and we'll be in here quietly humping.

— Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

— Woody Allen

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

— Woody Allen

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: Frequently there must be a beverage.

— Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to a hundred.

— Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

— Woody Allen

You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life

— Woody Allen

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

— Woody Allen

Your self-esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.

— Woody Allen

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.

— Woody Allen