He gave Sophie the smile which had no doubt charmed the Witch of the Waste and possibly Lottie too, firing it along the fork, across the cream, straight into Sophie’s eyes, dazzlingly. “If you can bully Caliber, the King should give you no trouble at all.” Sophie stared through the dazzle and said nothing. This, she thought, was where she slithered out. She was leaving. It was too bad about Caliber’s contract. She had had enough of Howl. First green slime, then glaring at her for something Caliber had done quite freely, and now this! Tomorrow she would slip off to Upper Folding and tell Lottie all about it.

— Diana Wynne Jones

He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered herself up, wondering if she was meant to kiss this hand or not. But since she felt more like raising her stick and beating the King over the head with it, she shook the King's hand and gave a creaking little curtsy.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasy land. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the Dark Lord are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a valley while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no stallion ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. Nomads appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Howl pointed a shaky hand up toward the canopy of his bed. “That’s why I love spiders. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, again.’ I keep trying,” he said with great sadness. “But I brought it on myself by making a bargain some years ago, and I know I shall never be able to love anyone properly now.” The water running out of Howl’s eyes was definitely tears now.

— Diana Wynne Jones

I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.

— Diana Wynne Jones

I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!

— Diana Wynne Jones

I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die.

— Diana Wynne Jones

If you like, you can all think of it as my gift to you. I never had much else to give. You can get on and play your own lives as you like, while I just keep moving. This story of it all can be another gift. I’ve made an arrangement with Adam. When I’ve finished, which is almost now, I’m going to put the bundle of papers in the garden of the Old Fort, before I move on. Adam’s going to get them and take them to his father. And if you read it and don’t believe it’s real, so much the better. It will make another safeguard against Them. But you wouldn’t believe how lonely you get.

— Diana Wynne Jones

If you must know, I-I had never in my life kissed a young lady, and you are far too beautiful to me to want to get it wrong!

— Diana Wynne Jones

I hate dialect. It gets in the way. If there is a need for dialect, you can render it quite easily by reproducing the rhythm of that form of speech. Then you don't need to bother with silly spellings

— Diana Wynne Jones