Learn to drive?"" Never," said Quentin. "My mission in life is to be a passenger.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!

— Diana Wynne Jones

Mr. Crossly suddenly wondered why he was why he was worrying about the note. It was only a joke, after all. He cleared his throat. Everyone looked up hopefully. 'Somebody,' said Mr. Crossly, 'seems to have sent me a Halloween message.' And he read out the note: 'SOMEONE IN THIS CLASS IS A WITCH.'6B thought this was splendid news. Hands shot up all over the room like a bed of beansprouts.' It's me, Mr. Crossly!'' Mr. Crossly, I'm the witch!'' Can I be the witch, Mr. Crossly?'' Me, Mr. Crossly, me, me, me!

— Diana Wynne Jones

My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Nobody can buy a hat without gossiping.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Nobody gets praised for the right reasons.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl who lived on an iceberg in the middle of the ocean, sooner or later— probably sooner— I’d look up to see you swooping overhead on a broomstick. In fact, by now I’d be disappointed in you if I didn’t see you.” “Are you off to the iceberg today?” Sophie retorted.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Oh! Polly thought. Why aren't all girls locked up by law the year they turn fifteen? They do such stupid things!

— Diana Wynne Jones

People are wrong when they say things like, “I didn’t have time to think.” If you’re really worried, or really miserable, those feelings come welling up around the edges of the other things you’re doing, so that you are in the feelings even when you’re working hard at something else.

— Diana Wynne Jones

Polaris often remarks to Sol that Sirius loses his temper much less often these days. But the one sure way to send him into a flaming rage is to suggest that he finds a new Companion. Sirius will not hear of it. The small white sphere circling his goes untenanted, because he hopes that what Miss Smith said is true.

— Diana Wynne Jones