I love you guilty. It makes it easier for me to wrap you around my finger.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I’m not beautiful. My mother—”“I know. Your mother was a knockout, and your paper bag ugly... Sorry to upset all those cherished illusions of yours, but I don’t see it your way.”“That’s because you didn’t know her.”“Could your mother have led tiger back into its cage?”“Maybe not that, but she was very good with men. They’d do anything for her.”“This man will do anything for you.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

In case you’re not bright enough to figure it out, there’s a real upside to having a sinner like me answer your phone. I lie, and your conscience stays clear.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I paid you five thousand instead and promised the balance only if you made the match. As it turns out, this is your lucky day because I've decided to write you the full check, whether the match comes from you or from Portia. As long as I have a wife, and you've been part of the process, you'll get your money." He toasted her with his beer mug. "Congratulations." She put down her fork. "Why would you do that?"" Because it's efficient."" Not as efficient as having Powers handle her own introductions. You're paying her a fortune to do exactly that."" I'd rather have you." Her pulse kicked. "Why?" He gave her the melty smile he must have been practicing since the cradle, one that made her feel as though she was the only woman in the world. "Because you're easier to bully. Do we have a deal or not?"" You don't want a matchmaker. You want a lackey."" Semantics. My hours are erratic, and my schedule changes without warning. It'll be your job to cope with all that. You'll soothe ruffled feathers when I need to cancel at the last minute. You'll keep my dates company when I'm going to be late, entertain them if I have to take a call. If things are going well, you'll disappear. If not, you'll make the woman disappear. I told you before. I work hard at my job. Furthermore, I don't want to have to work hard at this, too."" Basically, you expect me to find your bride, court her, and hand her over at the altar. Or do I have to come on the honeymoon, too?"" Definitely not." He gave her a lazy smile. "I can take care of that all by myself.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?"" I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I sure do miss that woman. Smart. Funny. Sweet. She never gave me a moment's trouble."" Gosh, I'm sorry about that. I knew it was boring between you two, but not that bad.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It was a bitch living with your old English teacher, especially when your old English teacher wasn’t old at all, and he had exactly the kind of body that most appealed to her, tall and lean, broad in the shoulder, narrow at the hip. Then there was his brain. It had taken her a lot of years to find that particular part of a man appealing, but she’d finally gotten in the habit, and she couldn’t seem to give it up.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I was kidding. Even I'm not that promiscuous. You guru people have no sense of humor.”“I'm not a guru people, and I happen to have a very well-developed sense of humor. Why else would I still be talking to you?

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Life sure is easier when you're rich."" And a natural-born charmer. Don't forget that part."" How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only thing we have in common.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips