A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

— Steve Martin

And after his unpassable response, including a passage where he said he was 'blurring the boundaries between a thing and thought,' she said, 'Thank you, I get sometimes lost,' while laying two fingers on his folded arm.

— Steve Martin

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

— Steve Martin

Be so good they can't ignore you.

— Steve Martin

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

— Steve Martin

Both you and paintings are layered… first, ephemera and notations on the back of the canvas. Labels indicate gallery shows, museum shows, footprints in the snow, so to speak. Then pencil scribbles on the stretcher, usually by the artist, usually a title or date. Next the stretcher itself. Pine or something. Wooden triangles in the corners, so the picture can be tapped tighter when the canvas becomes loose. Nails in the wood securing the picture to the stretcher. Next, a canvas: linen, muslin, sometimes a panel; then the Esso - a primary coat, always white. A layer of underpaint, usually a pastel color, then, the miracle, where the secrets are: the paint itself, swished around, roughly, gently, layer on layer, thick or thin, not more than a quarter of an inch ever -- God can happen in that quarter of an inch -- the occasional brush hair left embedded, colors mixed over each other, tones showing through, sometimes the weave of the linen revealing itself. The signature on top of the entire goulash. Then varnish is swabbed over the whole. Finally, the frame, translucent gilt or carved wood. The whole thing is done.

— Steve Martin

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

— Steve Martin

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.

— Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

— Steve Martin

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

— Steve Martin