Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?" ... Then a voice comes to me out of the dark and says, "We hate to tell you this, but life is a thousand-word essay.

— Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'. Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

— Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

— Charles M. Schulz

Tell me what you'll do if you're captured by the coyotes... Well, that might work, but does your mother live near here?

— Charles M. Schulz

That has to be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life.

— Charles M. Schulz

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

— Charles M. Schulz

There is a thought among some brands of theology that souls are waiting up in heaven to be born. Now how in the world anybody comes up with that is beyond me, and how you can be so sure of that is also beyond me. I always like to go back to Snoopy's theological writings, which he called, "Has It Ever Occurred to You That You Might Be Wrong." And that's the way I feel. These things fascinate me, and I like to talk about them with other people, and hear what they think. But I'm always a little bit leery of people who are sure that they're right about things that nobody's ever been able to prove, and never will be able to prove.

— Charles M. Schulz

There must be different kinds of loneliness, or at least different degrees of loneliness, but the most terrifying loneliness is not experienced by everyone and can be understood by only a few. I compare the panic in this kind of loneliness to the dog we see running frantically down the road pursuing the family car. He is not really being left behind, for the family knows it is to return, but for that moment in his limited understanding, he is being left alone forever, and he has to run and run to survive. It is no wonder that we make terrible choices in our lives to avoid loneliness.

— Charles M. Schulz

There's our excuse... we'll blame everything on the round-headed kid!

— Charles M. Schulz

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

— Charles M. Schulz