Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Caught! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Darragh! MFF! Genk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aft! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mind meld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! Furthermore, I knew you'd cheat! Furthermore, I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! AARP! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!

— Bill Watterson

HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

— Bill Watterson

Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

— Bill Watterson

How come we play war and not peace?"" Too few role models.

— Bill Watterson

I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be alibied.

— Bill Watterson

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

— Bill Watterson

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

— Bill Watterson

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

— Bill Watterson

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

— Bill Watterson

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

— Bill Watterson